Is it okay if I don't want a bdsm master?

[PurpleVibes]

I definitely agree, most of the time in the real world it's best to play safe and be 100% sure of the intentions before taking action.

Those subtle cues are either only useful in unrealistic environments like movies, or when you have a long term relationship and you know your partner like the back of your hand, and even then you must exert some caution.

[PurpleVibes]

I'm INFP

If you are indeed INFP, you should know perfectly well how people "Feel" about you 😊

I recently took another test, and now it shows I'm INFJ... what is the difference between P and J? is my life ruined? (just kidding).

That little change actually took me off guard. One does not simply change types, right? I'm guessing right most letters (FJ) are 'weaker' characteristic bound to change throughout someone's life and left most letters (IN) would need a lot more effort or even traumatic experiences to change.

[Tinker D]

Going back and looking at that clip, anther reasion why she is moving like that is that she in Drunk out of her mind and doesn’t know what she is doing. Next morning????
Ding Dong… or
POLICE!!! OPEN UP!!!!

zzzzzz….. ???? What ???????????

[PurpleVibes]

Going back and looking at that clip, anther reasion why she is moving like that is that she in Drunk out of her mind and doesn’t know what she is doing. Next morning????
Ding Dong… or
POLICE!!! OPEN UP!!!!

zzzzzz….. ????  What ???????????

FREEZE!

       

[Obsidian]

Hey I know I'm a newbie in the bdsm world, but is it okay if I don't want to have a master, and still be a part of the bdsm community?

I recently had a bad experience in my local bdsm community, I met a master and made an agreement but when the scene was played out some rules were broken, nothing too extreme, but I guess that my trust was broken so now I have zero desire to find a partner. This is a bit of a problem since I like self bondage, and I would need a partner if I ever want to try more difficult and restrictive knots.

Anyways, has this ever happened to you? How did you handle the situation?

I totally understand.  "Trust" has become such a rare commodity in today's society.  I can recall a time, long ago, when Trust was practically the foundation of our society.  Back then, there was literally half the number of people in the world, that we have today.  Somehow, as the world got more crowded, Trust went away.  "Honesty is for simps!", appears to be society's new motto.  Even big corporations, which were once the icons of Trust, now openly lie, cheat, steal, and treat people like dirt.

What makes a good Master?  Well, I can only say what I see (take with grain of salt).  First, "dominance" is not about swaggering and blustering.  It is about reading people (their eyes, their voice, their body language).  It is about knowing their thoughts, without them ever having to speak a word.  It is about anticipating their thoughts, and staying at-least one step ahead.  It is about thinking on my feet, and being able to change the direction of "the scene" at a moment's notice (without my sub ever noticing the "Glitch in the Matrix").

To be a good Master requires empathy.  For me, that empathy is about more than simply treating my partners/subs/slaves/clients like human beings.  It is about feeling everything that they are feeling.  It is about feeling every sting of the flogger, as they feel it.  It is about feeling their emotional reaction to it, and using those reactions like lane markers, to keep me on the right road.  I have found that lady subs are like delicate flowers---even the ones that refuse to admit it.  I can play at treating them like property, to do with, as I please.  But, in the end, it is their fantasy.  I am merely enjoying it with them.  They have gifted me their power and helplessness.  I must return that power in some improved form---a form that gives them pleasure.  In turn, they will relinquish more of their power.  And so, the cycle is always in motion.  Power cannot be taken or held.  It ages like fine milk!  Such power must be the constant flow from slave to Master, and back again.  That is what produces the high in a "scene".

OK, I'm rambling.  Yes, I am "old school".  I can't help reminiscing about the moments when it was just a sub and myself, alone, within my sphere of influence.  The outside world no longer existed.  We were in the eye of a three-dimensional hurricane of fire.  We were of one body, one mind.  I can only hope that few few folks in today's cynical world, still understand what I have just described.  I also have to wonder if, after all these years, I still have my touch.

[Obsidian]

I blame two things - the internet and as well the local communities. The internet has lots of info, but contradicting info. The community has let this stuff perpetuate, taking little interest it seems to truly address things.

Before the internet things were a lot safer. People had to vouch for others, honour meant something, we learned by being mentored, and we learned starting from the bottom up (old leather rules way). We self policed better. If someone stepped out of line like was done here, that person would be approached by others and actions taken (ie being barred from local events for a time, or if serious enough - ie rape, etc - total bannishment and being blacklisted with your name meaning diddly afterwards). Now, if we try to bring any of that back, the newbs whine and complain.

YES!

Also remember, the only knowledge that many folks have, comes from BDSM internet porn.  Readers quickly skip over the disclaimers/warnings about non-consent and dangerous practices, as if they were ads at the start of a YT video.  Readers are in a hurry to get to "the good stuff".  They fail to realize that it is a fantasy story.  Even before the internet, adult bookstores carried bondage porn, like the old "Centurians" publications.  These mags never even bothered with disclaimers.  They were enough to scare me away from the BDSM scene.  Luckily, I met a caring kinky couple, who showed me the truth.  And, the rest is history.